The book for March 2013 is Amos Boris by William Steig.

This epic story of friendship is simply spellbinding. It has its roots in Aesop’s classic fable of the lion and the mouse, though in Steig’s rendition the backdrop is a harrowing ocean adventure.

Your family will discover how a tiny mouse can, in fact, come to the rescue of the whale he loves. How, you might ask? A little community organizing can solve almost any problem!  Make change yourself with our little animal advocacy project.

Plus, you’ll LOVE the wonderful recipe provided by our friends at The Kids Cook Monday and created by Cate of Tribecca Yummy Mummy.

If you are a subscriber, you’ve already received your beautiful book, the following materials, plus a shopping list, book suggestions for older readers, and a fun BHF book mark right in the mail.

Thank you for supporting our nonprofit work! If you would like to subscribe, download our order form here: BHF Order Form.

If you already own the book or would rather use your library, we invite you to download these materials for your own big-hearted family night! When you’re done, join us back here and share stories of your family night. Or join the discussion on our Facebook page!

The Book Discussion:  Conversation Starters for Amos Boris by William Steig

The Recipe: Sesame Spinach Dumplings Recipe provided by our friends at The Kids Cook Monday and created by Cate of Tribecca Yummy Mummy.

The Kindness Activity:  Amos Boris Animal Advocacy Project. Learn about your favorite endangered animal and advocate for them!

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Last fall, we enrolled in the Family-to-Family One Book at a Time Program, which connects families with kids who may not have easy access to good reading material at home. My second-grader was matched with another second-grader across the country.

This experience has been immensely rewarding. You may have seen my post about the joy this program has brought my daughter, as she selects books and other goodies to share with her book friend.

Six months in to this commitment, I have noticed another incredible benefit to being part of this program.

This, or any monthly volunteer commitment, keeps kindness on your schedule even when the calender gets over run. Our family is in the middle of a big move: new house, new school, new city, new lifestyle. It is exciting and complicated and utterly consuming.

If it weren’t for the One Book at a Time Program, I’d be posting about how easy it is to lose sight of family volunteering when times are busy.

That said, I’d better go package up this month’s book and letter. I’ll leave you with 3 other monthly opportunities your family might enjoy.

1. Fight Hunger with Family-to-Family: The great organization that brought us One Book At a Time, also offers a few different ways to sponsor a hungry family each month. We’ve provied discusison questions to help make this monthly commitment even more meaningful.
2. Join the Box Project: Sponsor a family living in poverty in rural America by establishing a meaningful, long-term relationship and providing needed supplies.
3.  The Big-Hearted Famlies Book Club: At the risk of shameless (nonprofit) self-promotion, consider participating in our own monthly book club. We offer a book with discussion questions, a recipe, and a kindness activity to help you create a fun, kindness-centered family night.  You can find our book selections right here.

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Obviously, death is a natural part of life. It is a painful part of life, and love, and empathy. When the children have questions about this heavy subject, I do my very best to answer them earnestly, honestly, and bravely.

Our calico kitty suddenly passed away last week, only a year after we adopted her, bringing the topic of death and dying back to the forefront of our minds. Here are a few beautiful books to help your family begin a conversation about death, and life too.

The Next Place by Warren Hanson (Waldman House Press, 1997).

This simple non-denominational poem beautiful expresses the release, relief, and freedom death might bring. My children have returned to this book many times over the years. It certainly is more abstract and artful than instructional, but it has brought us peace many times.

Water Bugs and Dragon Flies: Explaining Death to Young Children by Doris Stickney (Pilgrim Press, 2012).

Stickney adapted a graceful fable about a water bug that changed into a dragonfly in order to explain death to a five-year-old. This book is more traditionally religious than The Next Place. My family was most interested in the metaphor of the dragonfly larva, who live below the surface of the water, and the adult dragonflies, to illustrate the notion of someone going beyond our sight, to a marvelous place.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: a story of Life for all Ages by Leo Buscaglia (Slack Incorporated, 1982).

This classic story  is perfect, both simple and comforting. A little leaf named Freddie and his companion leaves change with the passing seasons, finally falling to the ground with winter’s snow. As an avid gardener, I use nature often to teach kids about the circle of life and death. This book makes that analogy come alive.

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryon Mellonie (Bantam, 1983).

“All around us, everywhere, beginnings and endings are going on all the time. With living in between.” This is a book to fall in love with, a book to read even when death is not a major topic around the house.

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst (Atheneum Books for Young Readers, 1987).

This book is on the secular end of the spectrum. The writing is beautiful, the story is simple, and my children found it extremely comforting. They’ve been preparing their lists of good things about their own cat for our own kitty memorial service.

Please share your recommendations. I realize the topic of death is deeply entwined with personal spiritual beliefs, so feel free to share whatever speaks to you and your family. There are likely many others just like you who will be grateful for an additional resource.

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Up here in Minnesota, the world is white as far as we can see. Little Miss 5 shook her head at it this morning, declaring “I will not be going outside again unless it’s spring or fall or summer. I’m done with snow now.”

Are you also longing for the joys of spring? Or are you shaking your head at us northerners, wondering why we live way up here?

Either way, here are three sweet and simple projects that will have you thinking spring and sharing kindness as a family, even if your weather isn’t cooperating.

1. Seeds for Change: Collect seeds to send to families who want to start their own gardens, thus providing a supply of fresh, nutritious produce. There’s no better time to help people prepare to garden.
2. Plant a Row for the Hungry: Designate the bounty from one row of your garden to donate to a local food shelf. Buy your seeds now, along with peat pots (or make pots from objects in your recycle bin),  and start your seeds inside.
3. Birdseed Cookies: Making a batch of bird treats is a fun way to care for your local bird population. Is it me, or have the birds been singing louder, longer, and more hopefully lately. Spring is in the air, and this is a great way to welcome it into full swing!

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Fear and worry are particularly tricky emotions. We all, young and old, have a tendency to mask fear with anger or worry with aggression. Understanding these difficult feelings and learning to cope with them is a lifelong undertaking.

Begin today with these five wonderful picture books.

Parents, you can prepare yourself for a variety of big conversations with the book Dealing with Disappointment: Helping Children Cope when Things Don’t Go Their Way  by Elizabeth Crary. Though the title focuses on disappointment, this book is full of practical tips to help a worrying child put that fear and uncertainty to rest.

Also, for older children looking for a great chapter book on this issue, check out the series The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place by Maryrose Wood. These creative stories are full of mystery and endless lessons in courage and bravery.

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety by Dawn Huebner (Magination Pr, 2005) Ages 6 and up.

This is really a ‘coping with worry’ handbook, overflowing with examples and activities to get kids thinking about how to handle their worrying. I found this useful for my oldest daughter, who is especially prone to worry.

The Scariest Thing of All  by Debi Gliori (Walker Childrens, 2012) Ages 3 and up.

This book is wonderful for very young readers. Pip the rabbit is afraid of lots of things—until he gets lost in the woods, right in front of the Scariest Thing of All! But when Pip confronts his fears, he finds courage in the most unlikely of places: inside himself.

The Monster Who Ate Darkness by Joyce Dunbar (Candlewick, 2008) Ages 3 and up.

A monster that eats darkness stew?  This is a fun, rather silly book with an endlessly big-hearted conclusion. You can start a big-hearted conversation about that “empty feeling” the monster was so concerned about, and explore many other big ideas about fear, darkness, friendship, and hope after reading this wonderful story.

Fritz and the Beautiful Horses by Jan Brett. Boston (Houghton Mifflin, 1981) Ages 4 and up.

Jan Brett beautifully illustrates the story of Fritz, a pony excluded from the group of beautiful horses within the walled city. Fritz becomes a hero when he rescues the children of the city. The adventures of Fritz provide many opportunities to talk about the loneliness of exclusion, and the value of personal fortitude over superficial beauty.

Grandmother Stories: Wise Women Tales from Many Cultures by Burleigh Muten (“The Old Woman Who Was Not Afraid”) (Barefoot books, 2006).  Ages 4 and up.

This treasury is wonderful. I’ve mentioned it in detail before (click here for the post). This collection of stories has been a favorite in our house for years. The story “The Old Woman Who Was Not Afraid” has captured Little Miss 5′s imagination. Whenever she talks about something frightening, she parrots the woman in this story. “But I am not afraid,” she declares, squaring her shoulders and jutting out her chin. In the story, the woman teaches us that brains and patience are all the tools we need to solve any problem and overcome any frightening situation.

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Below is a summary of the 3 simplest routines my family has used to incorporate compassion and kindness into our everyday lives.

For the last few weeks, these routines have kept us from losing touch with the Big-Hearted Families philosophy altogether. We’ve had one of those weeks, really it is turning into nearly a month, or hyper activity. I simply haven’t had time to plan specific volunteer-centered activities. (Okay, except for the Valentine’s card-making party, but that was so much fun it barely counts!)

But we continued to practice gratitude, read compassionate stories, and discuss big issues whenever the kids bring them up.

Little Miss Five even spear-headed a gratitude craft with leftover card-making supplies.
Which she turned into a centerpiece.
Which then became a dinner conversation starter around the theme of “why we are grateful for the people we love.”

It was one of those proud mama moments, and I attributed it, in great part, to the resources we’ve found at Big-Hearted Families.

You are all already so attuned to your children’s natural instinct for compassion. Big-hearted routines simply empower kids to express this compassion, practicing it like any other life skill.  

In fact, most of you have probably adopted a kindness habit that isn’t on my family’s list. If so, please share! 

Here are the three routines that have made even these busy weeks more compassionate.

1. Read. It’s always easiest to making changes by bringing greater intentionality to the ways you already gather as a family.  Check out any of our “top 5 book lists” we are adding new ones all the time. This one is particularly helpful:

2. Dine on food for thought:  Families that eat together on a regular basis are already taking a big step toward big-hearted living, just ask our friends over at The Kids Cook Monday! Check out our Pinterest Board for Big Talk with Little Ones. Find conversation starters that fit your family, print them and keep them nearby. Let the kids be in charge of pulling a new starter at every meal.

3. Reflect: Close the day with a meaningful question. At our house, we often ask “Who did you help today?” and “Who Helped you today?” Together, they are a powerful team, prompting the kids to stay watchful throughout their days. It’s like an ongoing kindness scavenger hunt. Both my daughters look for opportunities to be kind so they’ll have something to share with us. They also pay attention to the natural way they alternate between being helpers and being helped.

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They have some spectacular resources, you should definitely check them out!

With two little girls underfoot, I find it hard to hate Valentine’s Day the way I once did. Once, I ranted about its fabricated, consumeristic  pink-coated insincerity.

Now, I use it as an extravagant excuse to spread love, kindness, appreciation, and generosity as far and wide as possible.

This year, we adopted a new holiday tradition by hosting our first annual (yes, it was so much fun there will have to be a repeat performance) Valentine’s Card Making Party.

Check out the Big-Hearted Families project recipe with book suggestions, discussion questions, and delivery tips right here. 

And share your own family’s experience.

I know, we’re not alone. Several members of Big-Hearted Families have hosted similar events. Together, we’re sending hundreds of cards out to nursing homes, children’s hospitals, and even one animal shelter!

The project details are pretty well described in the BHF recipe linked above, so I’ll just share a few of the tips we learned during our own party.

Recipient:

My family chose to send cards to a nursing home where we have a relative. We actually sent two boxes, one for the residents and one for the staff.

Next year, I plan to schedule a visit just before the holiday so the kids can hand-deliver the cards. I think that would definitely be a more rewarding experience for everyone. Though, for an introvert like me, a bit more socially awkward.

Set Up:

Um, one tip – hit the dollar store before heading to a fancy craft supply store.

I’m pretty sure I over spent. Stickers and glitter glue are always more expensive than you expect.  We used this opportunity to clean out the craft bin too, meaning loose googley eyes, extra feathers, and loads of sparkly jewels all found their way onto our cards.

I found it easiest to divide the supplies onto a paper plate for each child. This limited the mess, and the amount of crawling across the table (and the glue) to get to an item they wanted.

Also, I pre-folded cards, leaving some black but greetings on others. Some said “thank you for sharing your love and help” or “you are in our hearts.” This worked great for the five-year-olds, not all of whom could write just yet.

Reflection:

• Boys enjoyed making cards as much as (in some cases more than) the girls;
• The younger kids (4 and 5) really got into this project. The 7 year olds may have been more inspired if they were able to hand out their creations.
• The book Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch really helped set the stage for card making. Have you check it out our book club feature this month? Though one 4 year old informed me, “that is a really long book,” the rest of the crew enjoyed the discussion questions I brought up. The older kids even wrote “We Love You” or “Everybody Loves You” on most of their cards.

Here are some examples of cards made by other big-hearted families. Feel free to send me your own pictures to post: Sarah (dot) aadland (at) doinggoodtogether (dot) com.

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For subscribers, these materials, plus a few extras, arrive at  their front door. Click here if you are interested in giving a gift subscription to a child in your life. Everyone else is invited to follow along right here on the second Monday of the month. Here is an overview of our book selections for 2013.

Any well-told story teaches us something of value.

And many sweet, ethics-based children’s books line the shelves of your local book store.

What we are after is the perfect combination of the two: a well-told story that provides a wonderful spring-board for meaningful conversations. We’ve selected books that are as pleasant to read aloud the 43rd time as they were on the first, for both kids and parents!

January:  The Three Questions by Leo Tolstoy, adapted by John Muth

Set the tone for a year full of Big-Hearted Family Night kindness activities! This first month guides your family through a family mission statement craft and inspires conversation about the “three questions,” especially what is the most important thing and who is the most important one. Discuss the book while you make family artwork as a visible reminder of your resolutions.

February: Somebody Loves You Mr. Hatch by Eileen Spinelli

Love, appreciation, everyday kindness are the timely topics this month. The story and activities will inspire you to pay a little more attention to the under-appreciated people in your community and will give you an opportunity to show them some love!

March:Amos and Boris by William Steig

This epic story of friendship is simply spell binding. Discover how a tiny mouse can, in fact, come to the rescue of the whale he loves. Then, spend an evening working to save animals you love with a simple, artful advocacy exercise.

April: Miss Tizzy by Libba Moore Gray

Living in community may not feel like an extra special act of kindness, but the everyday joys we share with one another can become an incredible comfort during difficult times. Learn how to share your everyday joys with your community in this heart-warming and inspiring evening of activities.

May: Rabbit Squirrel: a Tale of War and Peas by Scott Magoon

Bring the topic of peace and reconciliation into your home with this entertaining tale. Explore how easily bad feelings and mean actions can escalate into an all out war, and make a beautiful symbol of your own dedication to peace.

June: The Great Kapok Tree by Lynne Cherry.

Celebrate biodiversity with a forest full of talking animals and magical illustrations of the Amazon rain forest. Your young naturalists will be empowered to take notice of biodiversity right in their own backyard with the discussion questions and activities that accompany this book.

July: The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf.

This classic story has been teaching us to be true to ourselves for more than 75 years. Tackle big issues like peer pressure, self-love, and appreciating differences with a kindness activity that will get you ready for the school year.

August: Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts.

All Jeremy wants is a pair of those shoes, the ones everyone at school seems to be wearing. Though Jeremy’s grandma says they don’t have room for “want,” just “need,” when his old shoes fall apart at school, he is more determined than ever to have those shoes, even a thrift-shop pair that are much too small. But sore feet aren’t much fun, and Jeremy soon sees that the things he has — warm boots, a loving grandma, and the chance to help a friend — are worth more than the things he wants. This month’s story and activities may inspire some back-to-school kindness and freshen up your family’s gratitude practice.

September: Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun by Maria Dismondy

Kindness isn’t always easy, especially when the school bully is in need of a little kindness himself. This book inspires us all to stick to our convictions, even when a small part of us might want a little revenge. Get some practice and practical inspiration with the discussion and activity.

October: Joseph Had a Little Overcoat by Simms Taback

When Joseph’s coat got too old and shabby, he made it into a jacket. When that wore out, he changed it again. This beautiful book illustrates resourcefulness and gratitude and lends itself to a wonderful conversation about wanting what you have and doing your best with it. A simple activity will help you re-purpose or upcycle your own well-worn favorites.

November: The Quiltmakers Gift by Jeff Brumbeau.

Share a fairytale with your children while you kick off a wonderful conversation about the source of true happiness. This book is one of a kind, and it lends itself to endless acts of generosity. Our activity will make it easy to get started.

December: The Gift of Nothing by Patrick McDonnell

This is the perfect book to remind us all the purpose of gift giving. Discuss the difference between wants and needs. Talk about the traits we value in the people we love rather than the things on our wish list. Use the activity to make a few gifts of your own for loved ones who have everything.

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Transform  family night into a creative, fun, book-centered kindness practice!

The book for February 2013 is  Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch, by Eileen Spinelli.

This heart-warming classic is sure to inspire many big conversations with your little ones. Enjoy this wonderful recipe provided by our friends at The Kids Cook Monday and created by Kristen Uhrenholdt of The Family Dinner blog.

If you are a subscriber, you’ve already received your beautiful book, the following materials, plus a shopping list, book suggestions for older readers, and a fun BHF book mark right in the mail. Thank you for supporting our nonprofit work!

If you would like to subscribe, download our order form here: BHF Order Form.

If you already own the book or would rather use your library, we invite you to download these materials for your own big-hearted family night!

The Book Discussion:

 Conversation Starters for Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch

The Recipe: 

I Love You So Tortelloni-os provided by by Kristen Uhrenholdt of The Family Dinner blog.

The Kindness Activity: 

Our Family Loves You: Veggie Print Thank-You Cards

 
When you’re done, join us back here and share stories of your family night. Or join the discussion on our Facebook page!

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